Baby Banner
by AllyLobster
Summary: A prologue of sorts to 'Rules' and 'Star Gazing'. Basically, Darcy goes into labor while Bruce is saving the world. Does he make it to the hospital in time? Please read and review!


"Well, shit!" Darcy exclaimed as she stood up from one of the stools at the bar in the kitchen.  
"Darcy?" Natasha asked from behind her. "What's wrong?"  
"Get Bruce." Darcy whispered as she pressed a hand to her stomach.  
"Darce?" Natasha asked as she stepped closer. "Are you alright?"  
"No, I'm not fucking alright." Darcy hissed as a flash of pain shot through her and made her cry out and grip the counter beside her.  
"Ok. Come on, let's go sit down." Natasha murmured gently as she led Darcy to the living room and helped her down onto the couch.  
"Where's Bruce?" Darcy asked.  
"JARVIS?" Natasha asked.  
"Dr. Banner is currently returning from his mission with the other Avengers. Minus you, of course, Agent Romanoff."  
Natasha sighed and tried not to begrudge her friend. It really wasn't Darcy's fault that some random person had tried taking over the world when Darcy was too close to her due date to be left alone.  
"Estimated time to arrival?" Natasha asked as Darcy squeezed her hand tightly.  
"5 hours." JARVIS' cool voice answered.  
Natasha cursed and knelt in front of Darcy. "Darce, do you need to go to the hospital?"  
"Fuck, I don't know." Darcy moaned. "I just want Bruce."  
Natasha nodded. "JARVIS, get Bruce on the phone."  
"What if he doesn't have his phone?" Darcy asked softly while JARVIS set about dialing her husband.  
"His wife is about to give birth to his first kid. If he doesn't have his phone with him, I'm going to castrate him when I see him."  
Darcy laughed softly, but it caused a wave of pain to flow through her body and she grimaced.  
"Darcy?" Bruce's voice echoed through the room. "What's wrong?"  
"It hurts, Bruce." Darcy moaned and tried not to let the tears slip out of her eyes. "It hurts so much."  
"Are you having contractions?" He asked with worry slipping into his voice.  
"I think so. But I don't think my water's broken yet." Darcy said, just as she felt a gush of water between her legs. "Ah, shit."  
"What?" Bruce asked.  
"Her water just broke." Natasha said while Darcy just stared at the wet spot between her legs.  
"Shit. Darce, we're flying as fast as we can, ok?"  
"Bruce, please." She cried. "I need you."  
"I know, Sweetie. I'm gonna do my best to get there, ok?"  
Darcy whimpered and nodded even though he couldn't see her.  
"Natasha, stay with her and time her contractions, ok?"  
"And what do I do with that information?" Natasha asked as she tried not to panic.  
"When they get to 7 minutes apart start getting our bags together. At five, get her to the hospital."  
"Ok." Natasha said weakly.  
"Thank you. And Darcy?"  
"Hmm?"  
"Hang in there, Gorgeous. I love you."  
"Love you too." Darcy groaned as she tried to get comfortable.

After JARVIS hung up Natasha shifted onto the couch beside Darcy. "You're about 12 minutes apart, ok?"  
Darcy nodded and gripped the armrest.  
"Make that 10 minutes." Natasha said. "Can I get you anything? Water?"  
"Yeah. And there's a ball on the counter."  
Natasha nodded and stood up. When she returned, Darcy grabbed the water and drank most of it in one go.  
"Whoa, girl." Natasha said.  
"Despite what my stomach looks like, I am _not_ a horse." Darcy hissed as she glared at Natasha.  
Natasha held her hands up in surrender. "I'm sorry."  
Darcy looked at her for another moment before she held her hand out for the ball Natasha was still holding. Natasha gingerly stepped forward and placed the ball in Darcy's hand, just in time for her to grip it tightly as another contraction hit.  
Natasha carefully sat down beside Darcy and kept track of her contractions. When they got down to 6 minutes apart, Natasha stood and turned to Darcy. "Come on, we're leaving early."  
Darcy nodded and allowed Natasha to help her up from the couch. Together, they walked to the elevator and Darcy hit the button while Natasha grabbed the two bags she'd brought out earlier. When they got to the garage, Natasha put the bags in the back and turned to help Darcy into the front seat and watched as she buckled herself in while making sure her stomach wasn't in the way.  
The drive through the city was slow going though, because though they may be superheroes, there was little they could do about rush hour.  
"Fuck!" Darcy yelled at one point when Natasha was cut off. "Do people not give a fuck about the pregnant woman trying to get to the hospital so she can get a kid out of her stomach? Does that not matter anymore?"  
Natasha chuckled as she braked for a car intent on getting over.  
"Natasha, honestly. I'm not going to break if you drive like you normally do."  
Natasha shot a look at Darcy and saw her gripping the door handle tightly and she could see that Darcy was clenching her jaw. Suddenly, the thought occurred to Natasha that it might be worse for Darcy for her to drive at a slow pace. So she reached over and flicked a switch that had sirens suddenly blaring from the car.  
"What the hell?" Darcy asked in shock.  
"We got sirens put in all the cars, just in case." Natasha said as she started weaving in and out of traffic.  
Darcy nodded and watched as the city flew by. 10 minutes- and two very painful contractions later- they were pulling up in front of the hospital. Natasha turned off the sirens and the car and raced around to grab the bags before turning and helping Darcy out of the car. When they entered, Darcy would have started running, if she weren't about to have a baby.  
"Bruce!" She cried when she saw her husband and the rest of his team in the waiting room.  
Bruce turned at the sound of his name and ran toward her. "Darcy." He breathed as he hugged her as tightly as he safely could.  
"You trying to get that kid out sooner?" Tony asked with a teasing tone.  
"Shut it, Stark." Darcy hissed as Bruce turned and started pulling her gently down the hall. "Come on, Darce."  
Darcy turned and followed her husband down the hall and into the room the nurse was showing them. Bruce helped her into the hospital gown and then into the bed, where she tugged on his hand insistently until he caved and climbed into the bed beside her.  
"How are you doing, Darcy?" Bruce asked softly as he rubbed circles on her back.  
Darcy sighed. If anyone else had asked, she would have made a snarky comment, but she knew Bruce was genuinely worried, both about her and the baby. "I'm fine. Just really uncomfortable."  
Bruce nodded and continued rubbing circles as he periodically kissed Darcy's head.

* * *

"Alright, Mrs. Banner. You're ready to push." The doctor informed them.  
"Oh? Says who?" Darcy asked grumpily.  
Bruce chuckled at the look on his wife's face as she and the doctor discussed the fact that Darcy really was ready to push, despite the fact that she'd only been in labor for a few hours. Finally, Darcy caved and allowed the doctor to position her on the bed.  
Darcy made grabby hands at Bruce until he stepped closer and wrapped her hand in his. Darcy took a deep breath to center herself, and then she nodded.  
"Alright. On your next contraction, push." The doctor said as she looked at one of the monitors.  
Darcy nodded and when she felt the next one creeping up on her, she started pushing.  
"Oh, holy _fuck!_" She cried.  
"That's the spirit." Bruce murmured with a smile.  
The next several minutes were spent in much the same manner with each push getting progressively louder and more inventive curses from Darcy.  
Finally after what seemed like years to both Bruce and Darcy, a cry broke through the room. Bruce watched as Darcy practically melted into the bed in exhaustion.  
"Looks like your daughter's got quite the set of lungs on her, you two."  
"Daughter?" Darcy asked.  
The doctor nodded with a smile. "Yes. Congratulations, you two. You have a lovely little girl."  
Bruce was in his own world as he struggled slightly to cut the cord. He stumbled back to Darcy while they took the baby away to be cleaned and wrapped in a blanket. Bruce sat on the bed beside his wife and put his arm around her.  
"We have a daughter, Bruce." Darcy murmured as she looked over to the group of people surrounding the baby.  
"Yeah." Bruce whispered, still in slight shock.  
Darcy let out a breathy laugh at her husband as she watched the doctor walk across the room with the baby in her arms.  
"Here you go." She murmured.  
Darcy gently took her daughter from the doctor and settled her in her arms. The doctor motioned for everyone else in the room to leave, and Bruce and Darcy suddenly found themselves alone with a baby.  
"She's gorgeous, Bruce." Darcy murmured as she softly stroked her daughter's cheek.  
"What are we gonna name her?"  
"We decided on Caitlyn, didn't we?"  
"Yeah."  
"Caitlyn Abigail Banner." Darcy murmured, and suddenly, Caitlyn was opening her eyes and looking up at her parents.  
"Hi there, little girl." Bruce murmured as he ran his index finger along her arm.  
"Her eyes are green." Darcy murmured.  
Bruce looked up from Caitlyn's nose- which he found adorable- and noticed that her eyes were in fact _very_ green, without a hint of any other color. "They are."  
"Do you suppose that's the other guy's contribution?"  
"If it is, let's hope it's the only one."  
Darcy nodded and looked up to Bruce with an absolutely stunning smile on her face. "I love you so much."  
"I love you too." Bruce replied and he leaned down to kiss Darcy softly on the lips. Just as they were breaking apart, Caitlyn made a disgruntled noise and started shifting in Darcy's arms. Almost instantly, a nurse appeared in their room and after recording all the information on Caitlyn's birth certificate, she helped Darcy get ready to feed Caitlyn.  
Luckily, Caitlyn latched right on, and Darcy smiled at the odd feeling.  
Bruce was still stroking his daughter's arm, when she suddenly shifted and wrapped her hand around his finger. Darcy's smile grew at the sight and she brought her hand up to lightly trace her daughter's forehead, careful not to discourage Caitlyn from feeding.  
"Just watch it, Caity. My boobs were great before you. If you make them sag, there will be hell to pay."  
Bruce laughed at that and leaned in to kiss Darcy. "I'll still love you." He whispered.  
"Good."

When Caity was feeding, Bruce burped her while Darcy made herself decent for the superheroes that would no doubt be coming to visit soon.  
Bruce handed back the baby just as the door opened and Natasha poked her head in. After checking that they were ready for visitors, she waved down the hall, and soon enough, the Avengers were in Darcy's room, fighting over who got to hold the baby.  
Bruce and Darcy just watched as their friends bickered over who's turn it was to hold her. After everyone had gotten a chance to meet the baby, she was handed back to Bruce and the team left, since they could all tell that Darcy was fighting to stay awake. Bruce gently laid a now sleeping Caity into the cot a nurse had slipped into the room at some point and returned to sit by his wife.  
"I love you, Darcy."  
"I love you too, Bruce. Now shhh, I'm sleeping."  
Bruce chuckled and kissed Darcy's forehead, but he remained quiet so that she could sleep. After all, she'd need as much as she could get.

* * *

**Done! I hope you guys liked this, and it made you laugh, at least a little. Also, I'm not a doctor, so if you were going to sway something about the medical inaccuracies in this, please don't. Because the main one would be the timeline for when to go to the hospital, and at that point, I'd feel like you're nitpicking, and that would make me cry. And that would just be mean. :(  
Reviews are wonderful. You should write one. :)**


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